Sunday, October 19, 2008

What are you thinking...?

So, kitten has this thing she does when she's out of things to talk about but feels like she needs something to fill the space. She asks, both in person and online, "What are you thinking?" It sometimes can be replaced, preceded by, or followed by its cousin, "What are you doing?" Now, don't get me wrong, I will ask her on occasion what she's thinking as well, but generally, I do it when there's a situation in which I need to know what she's thinking. Possibly I just doled out a tough punishment and I want to see her inner reaction. Or, maybe I'm trying to push her a little on her old limits and I want to make sure I am not pushing to far. There are plenty of other times where it is appropriate to ask that question, but she finds absolutely none of these times to ask it. 

Not only is it completely obvious that these are trivial questions, but most of the time I'm just not thinking anything. I am a Buddhist, and through my training and meditation, I aspire to clear my head of all the random clutter we tend to let float around our heads all day. So, at any given time, I may have about 0-2 thoughts running in my head. Some aren't even coherent thoughts yet, and some are just daydreams. Some, oddly enough, are just little games I have played in my head since I was little to keep myself occupied during hours and hours of silence and loneliness. This is not to say that I am lonely with kitten, far from it. I just find myself playing these games out of habit. Anyway, I really just don't have much to say about my thoughts, even if she's legitimately curious. 

I told her last night that she needs to tone down how much she asks that question, so I have a feeling she won't ask me at all. That's not what I want at all. I still want her to be able to ask me what I'm thinking, but I want her to be more selective when she does ask. I want her to have a reason to ask other than as just filler. 

So, kitten...What are you thinking?

1 comment:

monique said...

i'm thinking that i wish You would tell me what to do. :)

i hope you get back to writing soon, i found your blog very interesting.

Thanks and wishing you and your kitten all the best.