Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Our Situation

So, kitten and I have both skirted around the issue of our current situation and how we need to be secretive, but we never actually explained what our situation is. This post will describe our history a little bit and why we need to be secretive for now.

I am a soldier in the Army, and so is kitten. We both got stationed in the same place, and put in the same team. I was her squad leader and immediate supervisor when she came to the team. I was also married. She was very attractive, and she had a silliness about her that I loved. However, since it is against regulations (not to mention extremely unprofessional) to not only have a relationship with one of your subordinates but also have an affair, I had to remain strictly platonic with kitten. The Army is very unique in that manner - it is the only secular organization I know of that outlaws infidelity, which I think is very admirable. I had no intention of cheating on my wife, no matter how cute kitten was. From about March 2007 until September 2007, we were all just getting ready for deployment to Iraq. Whenever I wasn't at work, I was at home with my wife, so kitten and I never really saw each other. When we got deployed, however, that was a different story. We lived together.

Currently, we live in a small Combat Outpost in Baghdad, Iraq. It is a shopping mall that was used as a headquarters by insurgents until Americans took it from them in early 2007. It has 4 stories, with a big atrium in the middle that goes from the 1st floor all the way to the roof. However, the roof of the atrium is covered with a cheap plastic tarp, so when there is a dust storm outside, there is a dust storm inside too. Also, the hot air exhaust fans from the air conditioners in the living areas are all routed into the atrium, so in the summer it gets extremely hot in there. The walls are made of plywood, our power goes out for hours on end, and hot water in the winter is a rarity. We have lived in this small building since November 2007. We are on call 24/7 with no real days off. There is no time where we can sit and relax knowing we will not have to go on a mission or interrogate some detainees (part of our job involves interrogations). It's extremely stressful, but we have a lot of fun in between to counterbalance it all. It has been a very interesting experience, and one I would not trade for the world. 

I live in a room with 3 other members of our team, and I live next to our office. kitten lives in an adjoining room on the other side of the office with the other 10 members of our team and our interpreter. Being a female, she gets a small room with the other female on our team. We get pretty much no privacy, and we have to be accounted for at all times in case a mission comes up and we need to leave in the next 10 minutes. It's very difficult to get away and be alone.

So, now that I have explained our living conditions a little, let me go back to the story of how we got together. As I stated earlier, I was married when I first met kitten, and when we first deployed. kitten was my subordinate when we first got here, but the team organization changed around and she now works for someone else on the team. Shortly after getting to our current location, I discovered the "lifestyle" and realized that all my relationships could have been considered D/s relationships although none were formally recognized as such. My marriage was very much a D/s relationship, but it lacked the communication and trust required in such a relationship. As I tried to get closer to my wife, I found myself becoming attracted to kitten, so I purposely started teasing her, making fun of her, pushing her away from me in any way I could think of in order to prevent any feelings from starting. I wanted to focus on my wife and my wife only. 

Well, after our 3 year anniversary, my wife informed me she was filing for divorce. It was a pretty big shock to me, considering she and her family were my whole life. We had just purchased an English Bulldog puppy while on R&R in order to breed it when I got out of the Army. We were looking at houses. We were discussing the future. Then, in a moment, my wife, my life, and my future were gone. I had to start from scratch. The only person on the team who was familiar with divorce proceedings was...go figure...kitten. I talked to her about it, and we started talking online. I was keeping my divorce a secret from the team, so kitten and I got a lot closer. 

Now that I was released from my bonds to my wife, I stopped hiding my attraction to kitten from myself and from her. I eventually told her how I felt about her, and we started dating. I told her a little about me and my exwife's adventures in the D/s realm, and she started researching it on her own. We eventually, after a few weeks, decided to try it. I became her Sahib (Arabic for Owner) and she became my kitten. She speaks Arabic, so it has a special meaning for us. On 8 October 2008, I collared kitten and made her my slave, or 'Abd in Arabic. Eventually, she will have 'Abd tattooed on her (in Arabic writing, not the English transliteration). 

We have to keep everything a secret until we get home because there can still be issues if someone feels that it is a conflict of interest to have us both on the same team and dating. So, we are stuck talking mostly online, even though we live 50 meters from each other. When we do get to be alone, it's usually just a quickie to release the growing sexual tension. We have 52 more days until we go home, and each day feels like it gets longer and longer. But, we will go home someday, and kitten and I will have a "normal" M/s relationship for once. I am very excited, and I know she is too. 

This post was long overdue, and I apologize for any confusion that may have been created due to its absence. I hope this clears some things up.


kitten said...

kI am so in love with this man...

goooooood girl said...

i like your blog......